A Letter from Santa Claus (1875) by Mark TwainMy Dear Susy Clemens,I have received and read all the letters which you and your littlesister have written me . . . . I can read your and your babysister's jagged and fantastic marks without any trouble at all. ButI had trouble with those letters which you dictated through yourmother and the nurses, for I am a foreigner and cannot read Englishwriting well. You will find that I made no mistakes about the thingswhich you and the baby ordered in your own letters--I went down yourchimney at midnight when you were asleep and delivered them allmyself--and kissed both of you, too . . . . But . . . therewere . . . one or two small orders which I could not fill because weran out of stock . . . .There was a word or two in your mama's letter which . . . I took tobe "a trunk full of doll's clothes." Is that it? I will call at yourkitchen door about nine o'clock this morning to inquire. But I mustnot see anybody and I must not speak to anybody but you. When thekitchen doorbell rings, George must be blindfolded and sent to thedoor. You must tell George he must walk on tiptoe and not speak--otherwise he will die someday. Then you must go up to the nurseryand stand on a chair or the nurse's bed and put your ear to thespeaking tube that leads down to the kitchen and when I whistlethrough it you must speak in the tube and say, "Welcome, SantaClaus!" Then I will ask whether it was a trunk you ordered or not.If you say it was, I shall ask you what color you want the trunk tobe . . . and then you must tell me every single thing in detailwhich you want the trunk to contain. Then when I say "Good-by and amerry Christmas to my little Susy Clemens," you must say "Good-by,good old Santa Claus, I thank you very much." Then you must go downinto the library and make George close all the doors that open intothe main hall, and everybody must keep still for a little while. Iwill go to the moon and get those things and in a few minutes I willcome down the chimney that belongs to the fireplace that is in thehall--if it is a trunk you want--because I couldn't get such a thingas a trunk down the nursery chimney, you know . . . .If I shouldleave any snow in the hall, you must tell George to sweep it intothe fireplace, for I haven't time to do such things. George must notuse a broom, but a rag--else he will die someday . . . . If my bootshould leave a stain on the marble, George must not holystone itaway. Leave it there always in memory of my visit; and whenever youlook at it or show it to anybody you must let it remind you to be agood little girl. Whenever you are naughty and someone points tothat mark which your good old Santa Claus's boot made on the marble,what will you say, little sweetheart?Good-by for a few minutes, till I come down to the world and ring the kitchen doorbell.Your loving Santa ClausWhom people sometimes call"The Man in the Moon"
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