It’s all fun and games
And sexy breathing exercises for birth
And romantic plans about how he’ll take the baby
While you do yoga every day
Until you’re 10 days postpartum
Still bleeding and soaked in breastmilk
Riding a roller coaster of hormones and sleep deprivation
And your lovely partner forgets to pick up a smoothie
On his way home from the grocery store
And you lose your sht
Like sobbing into the bathroom sink
Like cursing his mother
Like wondering why you ever procreated with someone capable of such unimaginable selfishness
And then, when the storm has passed,
And you’ve had a snack - you realize
Two shaky, raw, sleep deprived humans
Trying to be life rafts for one another
While sinking into the depths of exhaustion and stress
Keeping the tiniest, most fragile, precious being afloat
Is hard AF
We weren’t meant to do this alone
We were not meant to be sent out to sea
In a tiny little life boat with no map
Even the most loving, stable partnership can sink
Under the weight of operating in survival mode
While finding your footing as parents
So, if you’re out there, treading water
Buried in laundry and breastmilk
Surviving on freezer pizza and three hours of sleep
Thinking mildly unkind thoughts about the person you chose to parent with
Because he can’t seem to calm the baby
Or remember your smoothies
Or grasp the depths of the earth shaking
transition you’re navigating
You’re not alone
And it will get easier
One sleepy, shaky day at a time
Words and Art by Catie Atkinson
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